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Saturday, 17 May 2014

Re-discovering old diary entries!

Well life has certainly been eventful since leaving my job last week!  I spent the weekend partying and celebrating with some of my best friends which was awesome.  We had a bit of a reunion with some old uni mates on Saturday and it was so good to see everyone all together. My friend Charlie was visiting from New Zealand and it was so great to catch up with him.  I had far too much fun and ended up feeling pretty horrendous and ill in the days that followed!

It turns out I have tonsillitis which is SO annoying.  My doctor reckons the stress of leaving my job (and it was really very stressful in the last couple of weeks I have to say) made me really run down so that as soon as the stress stopped and I took some time to finally relax my body felt 'able' to be ill.  GREAT!

So this has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works in terms of me cracking on with my job search.  Having said that, it's actually been so nice spending the last week at home in Surrey with my parents.  It's been blissful just spending time with my mum and dad and enjoying our house which we're about to move out of as they sold it. We moved here from London 10 years ago and have had so many happy times here.

As part of the clear out before the move today I spent hours sorting through boxes of 'memories' stuffed full of old birthday cards and letters from my mum, baby photos and other bits an bobs from my childhood and teenage years (the less said about those the better!).  I came across some little notes I made in 2005 when I was 23 about what I wanted from my career and life generally and it's amazing how similar that list is to things I am writing at the moment.  

I talk about setting up my own company, doing lots of travel, finding meaningful work, buying my own flat,  paying off my debts (unfortunately I'm still working on that one!).  I also talk about wanting to feel challenged, purposeful and also to feel free with time to enjoy the small things in life.  I write that I want to feel in control of my life and to be content in my own decisions.

I still feel exactly the same way now and its so interesting how I still have the same values and am looking for the same things out of life.  I guess I really need to pay attention to my true feelings and listen to what I'm saying to myself!

In another list, I wrote that I want to know my own mind better.  I actually think that is one of the things I want to get out of writing this blog - to really understand myself better and sort through all of the crap that runs through my mind all day every day.  I need to sort it all out and start looking for patterns, getting rid of self-limiting beliefs etc... 

I really hope that by blogging my way through this transition in my life I will come to really know myself and also reach out to others who may be going through the same thing.  

I wonder if any of the stuff I am going through will resonate with other people???

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