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Sunday, 18 October 2015

I'm back

I've pretty much abandoned this blog since my last post four long months ago. 

It wasn't intentional. I've often considered sitting down to write about some of the things going on in my life but I just wasn't feeling it to be perfectly honest. 

After not writing for a month or so I started to feel rather guilty and then after another month or so I felt like it had been such a long time since I had written a post that I wasn't quite sure how to get things started again. 

Would I have any readers left anyway?! 

Recently I reflected on why exactly I let the blog go and there is only one reason that makes sense to me. Following the death of my Dad in March I just wanted to hide away and shut out the world for a time. I'd spent the previous 10 months blogging about my personal life and letting you all in to my inner world - but suddenly I didn't feel much like sharing any more. 

I was so deeply saddened and consumed by my loss. My family is my rock and the totally out-of-the blue loss of my Dad was simply too much for me to bear. I lost my writing mojo and my normal zest for life just fizzled away. All my previous inspiration and drive to regularly share my thoughts and feelings with readers had gone. 

In the spirit of this blog, I really should have written all about my painful, messy feelings during this incredibly challenging time. After all, my blog is about bouncing back from all the crap life throws at you. But this time it was all just too raw and far too personal. And so I took an unscheduled writing sabbatical and disappeared from the internet for a while.

The problem with this is that I miss writing. I'm yearning for that little rush I get when I click "publish" on something I'm proud of. I think it's important for me to write just to get some clarity on all the questions and fears colliding in my mind. I can't work out exactly why I enjoy sharing my life in such a public forum but I do get a real sense of satisfaction from it, and right now with all the craziness in my world, I need to do everything I can just to stay sane and get through each day.

But more on that in an upcoming post...

For now, I just want to say that I've missed you and it feels really good to be back.

I would really welcome your thoughts and reactions on this post. Leaving a comment is really easy: type your comment below, include your name, then select "Comment as: Anonymous" and click "Publish". I moderate all comments so it may take a day or so before it appears on the blog. Thanks! x

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